Originally published September 28th, 2016 on http://www.arlene-bozich.com
Ever heard of “triggering”? It’s when something hits you in such a powerful way that you respond on a deep emotional level, whatever that may be. In class, we’re working with scenes that uncover deep, primal emotions and allow us to play with that intensity in a free way. In rehearsal, it’s “King Lear”. You know, the perfect tragedy. So yeah. Emotions.
Want to know what made me trigger today? Not the deep emotional scenes, not the process for “Lear”, none of the things that would make sense to any rational, sane human being. It was my refrigerator. You heard me. Or read me. Refrigerator. Here’s a little haiku I wrote about that moment:
Why, sir, do you smell so bad?
Oh. You’re fucking dead.
All of the food had rotted overnight because my fridge decided to make the great journey to the beyond. I didn’t cry, I didn’t yell or kick it or anything- I laughed. It was excellent. I looked absolutely insane, standing in the middle of my kitchen with a ton of rotten food in the fridge, but yeah.
Refrigerator Death + Deep Emotional Work = Maniacal Laughter for Arlene Bozich.
A candid shot of me, this morning, in front of my refrigerator.
All day I’ve been “triggered” over things. Someone left a folded tarp on my car hood; I threw it in a fit of joy. I heard a stranger talking about the Bears and immediately ran around the corner and hit the wall because WHY, CUTLER, WHY?! Someone in the office told me they sell adult size footy pajamas at Walmart now; I teared up. The guy at the drive thru window at Wendy’s (shut up, my food rotted) pointed at me and said, “Good face! I like your face,” to which I just nodded without saying anything and took my credit card back and drove to get my food asap so he couldn’t look at the card and see my name and come looking for me because I don’t need someone finding me and trying to wear my face. Ya know? Triggering all over the place. The fries were good though.
We’re actually starting Tech rehearsals for CRT’s “King Lear” tonight. Yup. I didn’t post once during our rehearsal space process. Sue me. Actually, please don’t sue me, I’m poor and don’t have time for that (also, I’m pretty sure my mother is the only person who reads this blog so, Mom, please don’t sue me. I’ll call more, I promise). The set is gorgeous, the costumes are kick ass, and I can’t wait to see how the lights and sound play in the space. It’s a lot to handle (i.e. Laughing at your dead refrigerator like it told the funniest joke in the world) but it’s such a great story to get to tell. I’m more excited for this show than I care to admit because who has feelings anymore, right?
One day I’ll be emotionally available. Today may or may not be that day. Or I might just implode if someone looks at me the wrong way. Who knows? Let’s take a ride on Goneril’s Mood Swings tonight during Lear Tech!
Fun times all around!
If you’re anywhere near Connecticut or want to see the show, click here for tickets and showtimes.
That includes you, Mr. Wendy’s Drive Thru Man. I expect to see you front and center.
First she’s happy, then she’s sad, now she’s screaming and throwing quarters at people. Let’s play on the Mood Swing!